How to Free Ourselves from Jealousy

Confronting the Green-Eyed Monster

Overcoming jealousy requires addressing it honestly and identifying the underlying reasons for it. Underneath every negative emotion is a child-like innocence, even if its pain. We must acknowledge this pain to move on. Freedom from jealousy also means giving up that particular possessiveness that lies at its heart.

Easier said than done. Fortunately, as Messiah, we’re assisted by a spiritual code-system, The Shalomite Keys, that reveals a deeper structure and meaning to language and reality.

In time, we will teach you the special techniques and principles that makeup the Shalomite Key System. Now let’s see what insights the Canaanite-Hebrew alphabet sheds on this problematic emotion.

Uprooting Jealousy

Psychology Today defines jealousy as “a complex emotion that encompasses many different kinds of feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rage and humiliation. Jealousy can strike both men and women when a third-party threat to a valued relationship is perceived, it can be a problem among siblings competing for parental attention, or envy after a more successful friend.”

The Hebrew word for jealousy is qin_’ah (קנאה) | eanq  | appearing in the Old Testament 44 times. It not only means “jealousy” but also “zealotry” or fanaticism. This shared semantic history between the words jealous and zealous is true also in the Romantic languages.

One approach we can take when trying to understand any Semitic word is to inspect its root(s). We note that qin_’ah (קנאה) | eanq  | “jealousy”, stems from q_na’ (קנה) | enq  | “to procure, to acquire, to buy, to purchase, to gain, to create, to possess, to redeem.”

The Canaanite-Hebrew alphabet thus teaches that jealousy (feeling we’ve lost something valuable due to another person’s gain) is rooted in the concepts of acquisition and possession.

Witnessing a former (or current) lover fall into the arms of another, or watching a friend enjoy a loving, warm family-life while our own home is dysfunctional and broken, can trigger resentment towards others for getting what we want, but can’t get. Jealousy.

And if we’re not careful, the fiery embers of zealous jealousy can burn down everything around us, like in the cautionary tale of Cain and Abel.

The Mark of Qayin

“And Adam had sex with Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from YHWH.” – Genesis 4:1

The Biblical story detailing the birth of the “first born son” is classic Hebrew puncraft:

* “Cain” (Qayin in Hebrew) is spelled quph–yod–nun (קין) | nyq | and literally means “edge, point, lance, spear.”

* “gotten” (qaniti in Hebrew) is spelled quph–nun–yod–tav–yod (קניתי). This verb qaniti is simply a permutation of q_na’, “to acquire, to gain, to possess.”

So Eve qaniti, “gains” or “possesses” a son, Cain, Qayin, who is named after the sharp edge of a weapon. Both of these terms are not only related to each other, but also resonate with qin_’ah, “jealousy”.

Jealousy is a form of possessiveness, or loss thereof, and when driven to the “edge”, or the extreme, jealousy can become a zealous rage leading to violence, “crimes of passion.”

And that’s exactly what happened. As the story goes, Cain feels jealous towards his brother, Abel, because YHWH preferred Abel’s sacrifice. So Cain kills his brother, and then is banished from his homeland.

True to his namesake, Cain embodies jealousy and becomes the first person to use a weapon to kill his fellow man.

Cain then founded a tribe of metal-smiths (weapon-crafters), the Cainites, who were devoted to YHWH (the Biblical Lord who describes Himself as el qanwo, a “jealous god”). The true Fall was when Moses married into this tribe, replacing ‘ELOHIM with this zealous lord.

The Cainites (Midianite-Kenite Shassu_YHWH) were Bedouins, living on the arid edges of civilization (Egypt and Canaan), and were feared by the ancient agriculturalists as marauders and outlaws.

The Mark of Cain is the mark of jealousy, the signature of a zealot. Its branded into the forehead (thoughts) and hands (actions) of the zealous-jealous ones, who like wild beasts, stalk their prey and try to snatch away their possessions.

The Mark of Cain is the Mark of the Beast.

Building a Nest

Note how Cain’s primary punishment was expulsion, exile, eviction, excommunication, and banishment from his home.

The story implies that the idea of “home”, our inner sanctum (and its loss) is strongly connected to the idea of jealousy. But does the Language of ‘ELOHIM support this? Indeed it does.

Delving deeper into the root-structure of “jealousy”, qin_ah’ (קנאה) | eanq | we reiterate that it stems from the word q_nah (to acquire, to gain, to possess), which in turn stems from the biliteral root, qain (קנ) | nq | “a nest; habitation, chamber, cell.”

This makes sense because birds, when constructing their qain, “nest”, need to q_nah, “acquire”, a bunch of materials – such as qahniym, stalks and reeds – in order to build a safe haven for their mates and offspring. And birds are known to “jealously” guard their nests from both predators and competing mates.

“Jealousy”, qin_ah’ thus draws its source from “nest”, qain, because jealousy itself is rooted in a fear that our “home life”- whether literal or metaphorical – is at risk. Jealousy is as much envying others’ homes (“keeping up with the Joneses”) as it is the sick feeling that our inner nests, our inner space, has been violated by another.

And if we allow jealousy to overtake us, we can lose our homes (our peace), cursed to roam the earth like Cain and his children. How then to free ourselves from the curse of jealousy?

Applying the Messianic Torah

Now we will employ two techniques from the Messianic Torah, THWORAH ELOHIM, to unveil some insight into how to cope with jealousy, and replace it with something positive.

(Keep in mind we are only touching the tip of the iceberg with this post. The teaching that emerges from the New Torah is infinite, so consider this a taste of the potential energy resonating within this system.)

The Principle of Separation

“Words and consonantal groups can be separated to form new definitional sets…..we are permitted great flexibility as long as we remain faithful to the context….” – The New Torah

In the New Torah system, the Principle of Separation simply means that we can splice up Hebrew words into smaller sets of letter/words and then analyze what new meanings may emerge.

Observe: “jealousy”, qin_ah’ (קנאה) | eanq  | consists of four letters. The Modern / Aramaic Hebrew is in (parenthesis), followed by the ancient Canaanite-Hebrew versions that only Messiah possesses:

  • quph (ק) | q
  • nun (נ) | n
  • aleph (א) | a
  • heh (ה) | e

We can separate this word in diverse ways. We can cut it up into four parts, inspecting each letter by itself, we can divide it in half and compare the two halves. There are many permutations.

Let’s divide jealousy in half, so that qin_ah’ (קנאה) becomes qain (קן) | ‘ahah (אהה):**

In other words, through the Principle of Separation, qin_ah becomes qain | ‘ahah. But what does this mean?

As we demonstrated above, qain means “nest; habitation”.

And ‘ahah is an interjection expressing sorrow, “woe! alas! oh! ah!”

The Principle of Separation thus delineates “jealousy” into two concepts; a strong emotional statement of sorrow related in some way to our nest, home, habitat (inner and outer.)

This is consistent with the gleanings already reaped earlier. But its still focused on the negative. Where is there a solution? Let’s try applying another technique and see if we can pivot towards the positive.

Forward and Reverse

The Messianic METHOD to this system is called ‘ahleph_pehleh, Forward Reverse, it refers to the natural back-and-forth flow of the language. The default reading of Canaanite-Hebrew is right-to-left, but in this system we can reverse the process and read left-to-right.

So let’s inspect the word for jealousy, qin_ah’ (קנאה), in reverse order (left-to-right) while also applying the Principle of Separation by dividing the word into three parts: hai (הא) | ‘ahn (אן) | ‘anahq (אנק):

* hai’ (הא) is an interjection meaning: “lo! behold!” It points to something important, something we should pay attention to.

‘ahn (אן) is an adverb meaning: “where? whither?” It modifies verbs by probing their place or position, asking “to what end? to what place? to what purpose?”

‘anahq (אנק) in a verb meaning, “to groan, to sign.” It gives us the noun ‘anahqah meaning a “sighing, a complaint, a moaning.”

By stringing together the definitions that come from dividing and reversing jealousy, one could make the following interpretation:

“Beloved, look at your feelings of jealousy. Don’t avoid it. Face it child. Where does it come from? From what source does it germinate? What is the root of your pain? Trace back your moans, groans, and tears to the source. Therein is the solution.”

‘ELOHIM speaks through the Language. But ‘ELOHIM being LOVE, wants us to focus on the positive, to dig out the light that glimmers even in the deepest darkness.

Innocence Reclaimed

With that mission in mind, let’s separate, qin_ah’, “jealousy” again, except this time, instead of carving out ‘ahahq (אנק), “groaning”, we drop the ‘ahleph (א) and add a heh (ה) to the last two letters of nun-quph (נק), so that Reverse qin_ah’ (קנאה) becomes hai’ | ‘ahn | naqah:

* hai’ (הא) is an interjection meaning: “lo! behold!” It points to something important, something we should pay attention to.

‘ahn (אן) is an adverb meaning: “where? whither?” It modifies verbs by probing their place or position, asking “to what end? to what place? to what purpose?”

nahqah (נקה) is a verb meaning, “to be pure, guiltless, free from punishment; to be free, empty.” In the intensive form, it means “to declare innocent, to let go unpunished, to acquit.”

In this rendition, the Language is now proposing:

“Beloved, look at the problem. Observe the issue. Where does it come from? What is its source? What lies underneath the feelings of jealousy? Is it a child-like love that has been damaged by another, by one’s own fearful thoughts? In any case, let it go. Empty your basket. Stop punishing your offender. Stop punishing yourself. Forgive as a child forgives. Jealousy in its extreme form serves no one. Come home. Come back to innocence. Come back to LOVE.”

Return to Eden

‘ELOHIM asks us to retrace our steps and return to that state of innocence in which we inhabited before the fall to jealousy. We are like the Children of Cain being called back to the nest, the Garden of Eden.

Overcoming jealousy requires not only understanding its origin, but also the ability to recognize that underneath the hate and rage is a child crying for somebody to acknowledge its pain. Acknowledge it.

When we recognize the innocence subsisting in our own hearts, as well as in those we blame for causing the offense, then will we finally begin to free ourselves from the trappings of jealousy, and ultimately transform and transcend it by letting go of possessiveness.

Sometimes we need to reverse in order to move forward.

Attitude Adjustment: No Covet

We’ll end this investigation for the moment with a quote from the Messiah’s founding document, The Revelation of ‘ELOHIM, where GOD reveals to humankind the original wording and spirit of the so-called “ten commandments”.

The one advising us not to covet, known in Judaism as “lo tachmod” (לא תחמד), seems an apt ending for our journey through jealousy:

dmhxal | “No covet. (Do not long for something that does not belong to you to begin with. Do not desire to take possession of another’s belongings, emplacements, boundaries, domains, dwelling places, spirit, soul, life, property, possessions, loved ones, and so on endlessly. Do not lust for those things in life that belong to no one in the first place, but rise out of the energy of the ETERNAL CONTINUUM of the NO*THING. Everything that exists, in some way, is sacred, and to be respected. All things come from US. In sharing, everything retains some innocence and verity in its specialhood. Therefore, do not mark boundaries for that which is not yours to begin with. Do not covet. In sharing, the desire is brought to peace and understanding. Learn from this. You will be enlightened. Matters will be made easier for you. Simply learn from whatever misunderstandings hold you from understanding. Then your relationship to others will become clear.) lo’ tach_mothe.”

Member of Messiah since 1995, Rav Miller was the “First Student” of the organization under the tutelage of Rabbis Ulen Khora and Jeffrey Parker, who taught him the secrets of the Shalomite Keys. He’s currently building a Dictionary to supplement the New Torah.

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